I usually always can spot a Finn in an international airport and most Finns and several foreigners have told me that they also can spot a Finn. I will give the tricks, though it is difficult to see what might be the use of spotting Finns. We do it because we cannot fail to spot Finns.
The easiest way to spot a Finn is that they speak Finnish, which for foreigners sounds like Hakka-ukka-pekka-nen… something like that. Umberto Eco in the Foucault Pendelum wrote in one place how to change text so that it looks like Finnish. It was doubling letters at least in two places in each word and adding this -nen here and there. I read the book in some other language and there was this piece. Then I read the book as a Finnish translation. The translator had omitted the piece. Either it is confidential information or the translator thought it is not very funny.
But Finns are not supposed to talk so much. At airports they do talk and even if there is only one Finn, he may talk to a mobile phone.
You may think that this speaking Finnish test is not so certain. Some crazy foreigners might, just for fun, speak Finnish – like foreigners often speak English. But I assure you that it would not work. Finns would notice immediately. Though, the Saami people might speak Finnish, but they can be easily recognized from their colorful clothes and reindeers. And their chin is a bit sharper than in Finns, I think.
If the person does not talk, you can discard him being a Finn if he has black hair and heavy dark beard. Hair color does not work with Finnish women as they often color their hear, but they never have a heavy dark beard, so that works. In general, Finns are light, unless they come from a trip to the South, but this can usually be detected from clothes. And if there is a sign Helsinki in their luggage and they wait for a plane to Helsinki, then it is quite easy.
Clothes are actually a very good way, though I am mot so much a clothes person. Finnish women use such more sportive clothes, never nice mini skirts or normally not much makeup and they do not try to look like what many men like to watch.
I would say the best way to spot a Finn is the expression on the face. It is like somebody whom one can easily cheat. My mother always said I look like that. It is such honest, non-dangerous looks. That is why even locals ask me for directions when they get lost: they just feel that I will not attack them and will advice correctly. It is a very stupid mistake they make as I never find the way anywhere even in my home town. Dogs also notice that Finns are kind: strange dogs always like me. They are smart, they know whom to trust. It is just so that trust Finns, never trust foreigners. Dogs know that.
Well, OK, I will finally give the less obvious tricks. The nose is either straight or going up, and usually rather small, but if everything is as with Northern Europeans, then look at the eyes. Finns deny that they have high cheekbones as usually Asian faces are given as examples of high cheekbones and Finns do not look Asian one bit. Asians have wide, prominent cheekbones. Finnish cheekbones are not wide or prominent, you do not notice any cheekbones in Finns. But they are high, often very high. The bone starts just under the eye. There is no empty place under the eye. I once tried with finger where the bone starts in a foreigner and where I have the bone there was just nothing. Empty place, just skin. Foreigners are weird. And this difference causes that Finns, at least most Finnish men, do not get bags under eyes and they do not get the wrinkles going from the sides of the nostrils to the corners of the mouth. You also do not see laughing wrinkles as Finnish men do not laugh. And you do not see the cheeks where they are in Europeans. And very often you do not see eyelashes in the lower lid. The eyes are rather small because of the bone.
So, now you know. You see, I can write how to spot a Finn. Nobody is alarmed, Finns the least. Finns do not need to hide, they have done nothing, at least after the time Sweden was a Northern superpower. But do not ever try to write how to spot any other ethnic groups. You may cause an international affair. The other people want the keep their secrets to themselves. But quite often I can spot a Pole.
I have to add a clarification. There is absolutely nothing East Asian in the looks of Finns. See the following photo of me as young:
http://www.pienisalaliittotutkimus.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/smalljorma1.jpg
Try to find a single trace of East Asian appearance. Surely there is none.
9 Comments
Great, funny and poetic piece. Really good writing. Best.
Hi Iris, you are the only one who occasionally reads this blog, but just having you to read one post makes it worth to write a thousand words. About this post, there was just the same day news of a some Polish rightist newspaper having published an article how to spot a Jew, in Polish of course. Normally nobody should have cared, but Americans newspapers made a news of it as a demonstration of antisemitism. Everything is always antisemitism. But recognizing people the ethnic origins of unknown people is one instance of observation. At least Arthur Conan Doyle appreciated that skill. I like to observe people and guess where they are from and how one can say it. About JFK, do you think the defective sight could have been intentionally turned to give an advance for shooting a moving target? This just came to my mind checking the evidence that there was only one hit in the head and that his came from the front. So, some original sniper could have set an advance to a certain speed of the car and a certain distance in order to keep the telescope sight exactly at the target. It is very difficult to take an advance since you see so little through a telescope sight. Most shoot to a moving target without a telescope sight. Thanks for your nice words and for reading my posts. My very best!
Hello J2;
Be certain that I read ALL your posts !!
It is just that my work life is so busy I don’t have the time to write proper comments: your posts are too rich and too intelligent.
I read your article on JFK, and wanted to come back to you with this respect.
The David Lifton book was incorporated into the possible version of events we discussed over the summer.
David Lifton’s theory that President JFK’s body was secretly transported in a body bag and tampered with, before the official autopsy, is confirmed by many visual witnesses in both hospitals (Parkland and Bethesda) who saw the head wounds.
It was necessary to tamper with the body to disguise the massive exit wound at the back of the skull.
Regarding the pieces seen on the Zapruder film at the time the President was shot, these of course are pieces of his skull.
I wrote a few comments about these pieces: one was retrieved by Mrs Kennedy who hold it in her hands at the hospital, another was found in the grass a day later, and a third disappeared from the Dallas PD, if I remember correctly.
Regarding the head shots, James files testimony is confirmed by a second radiographer, whose work Dr Mantik acknowledges. There were two head shots, almost instantaneous:
– One from the back, shot by Chuck Nicoletti from the Dal-Tex building.
– A fraction of a second after, a shot from the front by James Files, or whoever was posted at the Grassy Knoll.
So the last “shot” is in fact two closely successive shots.
Regarding the rifle with a defective sight, you must remember that the assassination was a “smoke and mirror” operation organised by a specialist in subversion (as per Colonel Fletcher Prouty). There are a lot of suspects, details, red herrings that were added deliberately to confuse people.
Personally, I think that LHO really believed that he was involved in an attempt to stop the assassination. His interview at the police station is striking: it is that of an intelligent man asking his handler to show up.
All the best. And really, you have a great literary talent. The text above is delightful.
Thank you for your comments on JFK. I will have to think about them carefully. The problem I have is the video where Bethsede autopsy assistant did not see a bullet hole in the back of the head, but I agree that the last theory from you is quite good and there may have been a hole he did not see. The change is in any case small, there were two shots, only did both of them hit JFK, and if not there is a small possibility that the shot from the back could have been from TSBD. But we discussed it in the summer, so let us not discuss it again. I will think about it at some point. All the best!
I found this by googling “do fINNS have high cheekbones” because I’m a Finn and I do, and I’ve got to tell you that this is the best piece of Finnish humor I have read in a while.
Thanks, I tried to write it in a dry scientific manner, but there was too much disturbance at that time.
funny piece…though I think Finns are mostly haplogroup N which is apparently originally from East Asia
Thanks for your comment. 60% of Finnish men do have Y-DNA haplogroup N, I also do. It is originally from East Asia, but R is originally form Central Asia. I added a photo of me as a child just to make clear that Finns do not one bit look like East Asians, please check the photo.
I found out I’m from Finnish ancestry my cheekbones are so high they are right under my eye sockets they couldn’t get any higher. I never understood this feature until recently. I believe Saami ppl have high cheekbones as well.